We are near the Einstein Memorial at the National Academy of Sciences Building in Washington, DC. A man called Foe is speaking:
Foe: Gather round, gather round. See my proof that science is fake. On this screen you will see the video of my experiment which proves that science is fake.
Crowd: Rumble. Rumble
Foe: OK, enough folks are gathered. Here goes: I blindfolded three so-called scientists and put them in a room with a stuffed elephant to see what would happen. You will see that they prove that science is fake. I call the first so-called scientist Wall, the second Tree, and the third Hose. Watch what they do.
Wall: I discovered a wall.
Tree: I discovered a Tree
Hose: I discovered a hose.
Foe: Video over. You saw it: Wall touches the side, Tree grabs a leg, and Hose caresses the trunk. Each is wrong and next they will fight to see which wrong discovery becomes accepted as true. Proof that science is fake.
[A man called Friend bursts from the edge of the crowd and rips the microphone from Foe.]
Friend: You, Foe, are the fake. You hired me to record your so-called experiment. When I showed you the video, after Hose said "I discovered a hose," you ran from the room shouting eureka. Folks, here is the full video of what actually happened, starting with Hose.
Hose: I discovered a hose. But, keep in mind that I worked as a firefighter to pay my graduate school bills and I have a bias toward hoses.
Wall: Yes, we all have limits. I am tall and I often miss details. Often there is more to be discovered than is apparent to me and sometimes I am dead wrong.
Tree: I have the opposite problem. I am short so often there is also more to be discovered than is apparent to me and sometimes I also am dead wrong.
Hose: So, let's work together to get a good idea of this wall-tree-hose object.
Friend: As the full video continues you see how quickly they put together a very good account of the elephant. Science is not fake. Science works.
Foe is the fake. FEE FI FOE IS FAKE!